by Jill Clingan
I felt a tap on my shoulder, startling me from my reverie. It
was a spring Sunday morning. My husband
was upstairs helping with the kids. I was sitting alone in my pew. The service was winding down, and it was time
for communion. As I was sitting in that
pew, with my head bowed, I probably looked the part of a pensive, meditative
worshipper.
But I was not praying. I was staring down at the spiral bound
notebook in my lap. The tap on my shoulder was so startling because I was
afraid I was going to get caught, and I immediately sought to conceal the small
book.
I had not been jotting down sermon notes or composing a
pre-communion prayer. Instead, I had been scribbling out my to-do list, a list
that spanned laundry and homeschool prep and long-overdue emails and
housecleaning. As I stared down at my completed list, I felt overwhelmed and a
wee bit panicky that I was sitting quietly in church rather than ticking
something off of that list.
The tap on my shoulder had distracted me out of a meditation more
tellurian than sacred.
When I glanced up, my guilty eyes looked into those of Geo, one
of our pastors. She was not tapping me on the shoulder to reprimand me,
however. Instead, she was asking me to help with communion. I had never helped
with communion before, but of course I nodded my head yes, stuffed the notebook
into my purse, and followed her up the aisle.
We had been attending our church for two years, and I had walked
up to take communion nearly every Sunday. But as I was stood there a bit
nervously next to Geo, I could not remember for the life of me what I was
supposed to say as each worshipper dipped the bread into the cup.
I leaned over and whispered, “Um, am I supposed to say
something?” She looked at me (and I imagined that her look was incredulous, but
I am pretty sure that was just my imagination), and she whispered back, “I serve you in the love of Christ.”
Got it. I can do that, I
thought.
The music began, and I saw and heard, from this front-row
vantage point, the creak of pews, the whispered “excuse me’s,” and the silently
exchanged smiles of my community as they swept up the aisles to receive
communion and then as they walked back to their seats, all of them quietly
engaged in a holy ritual that I had never had the opportunity to observe in
this way.
“I serve you in the love of Christ,” I said quietly to each worshipper as they plunged their
bread into the cup.
“I serve you in the love of Christ,” I said as I looked into the eyes of my dear friends.
“I serve you in the love of Christ,” I said to people with whom I had never exchanged more than
a friendly nod or a shy “hello” at the coffee table.
“I serve you in the love of Christ,” I whispered as I squatted lower to meet the outstretched
hand of a child.
“I serve you in the love of Christ.”
I walked back to my pew, and my heart was full of worship and
wonder.
The ritual was so simple.
And the words, while rooted in a sacred tradition, were not
magic.
But there was something mystical about it. Something holy.
Something that softened my duty-driven heart and shifted its perspective.
I still got out my to-do list when I got home. But something had
changed within me. I felt a little silly, but it seemed that if serving my
church family in a rite as simple as communion could feel holy, then what about
the simple rites I perform for my own family?
As I wash and fold laundry…”I serve you in the love of
Christ.”
As I pick up discarded toys and stray shoes and abandoned
artwork…“I serve you in the love of Christ.”
As I chop vegetables…“I serve you in the love of
Christ.”
As I wrap my son in a hug…“I serve you in the love of
Christ.”
As I stop what I am doing to look into my daughter’s eyes to
listen to her story…“I serve you in the love of Christ.”
re-posted by Mary Cay Kollmansperger
February 24, 2014

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