How Can Adults Nurture Children's Spirituality?

Even with clear evidence that spirituality is an important resource for individuals, and clear mandates to address the spiritual needs of children, evidence-based practices for promoting spiritual well-being in children and adolescents are hard to find. 

What can be found instead are large numbers of books and articles aimed at educators and parents, most of which contain guidelines or suggestions that are loosely based on research but do not rise much above the level of good advice.

In the face of this reality, what can adults who care about children do? We know that children come to us with an innate spirituality, but that spirituality is very vulnerable to the cultural forces that devalue it. It follows then, that the most important thing we can do to nurture it is value it – value it by our words and our actions.

·      We can communicate respect for the work of spiritual development by providing children with beautiful spaces in which to do the work and beautiful materials to use. In other words, a room in the basement of the church with some broken crayons and paper does not communicate respect and value for the work children need to do in that space.

·         As obvious as it may seem, we can set aside time and space to show children that we value this aspect of who they are.  This might mean turning off the media that rules our lives for some family time.

·      We can spend time sharing our spiritual experiences and faith with the children we love, thus communicating how really valuable and even trustworthy those experiences are.

Adults often get trapped into thinking that in order to nurture spiritual development need

three-point lesson plans, with lists of concepts children will come away with – that we have to fill children with knowledge about spiritual things or specific religious doctrine. I often invite people to instead consider the idea that the task of nourishing children’s spirituality is one of releasing what comes naturally to children (but is nonetheless vulnerable) as opposed to teaching.

Does that mean we cannot share content specific to our religious experience? No. That would be deceptive. We must share what we value of our religious faith – including our sacred stories and our cherished beliefs – if we are going to authentically spiritual with children. Grounding children in our traditions does not mean a narrowing of their religious or spiritual experience but invites them into a system of belief that has nourished our own spiritual growth. We can do this while still encouraging children to be open to new ideas, new experiences, new people and the future.

Jerome Berryman, who developed the Godly Play method as a way of nourishing the spiritual lives of children, has described this as playful orthodoxy. The Godly Play method is a way to share the stories and beloved traditions of our Christian faith with children, while at the same time encouraging openness and creativity. It is a way for children to learn the power of the Christian language to help them meet the challenges of life with strength and to help them find their own story in the story of the people of God.

All of us have met individuals who have rich spiritual lives despite a lack of adults to support their spiritual development over the years. But in the face of the strong cultural pressures that seek to devalue spirituality, most of us require support and encouragement from the significant adults in our lives.

The Rev, Cheryl B. MinorCo-Rector, All Saints Episcopal Church, Boston